


Things I Say When You Sleep

by expiredlove



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cute, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluffy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, Sleep, Sleepiness, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-07 10:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expiredlove/pseuds/expiredlove
Summary: "i think about you on the trainlove how you say my second namewatching you sleep like i'm insanetelling you things that i find hard to saylike i love youi think i love you"-----------------------It's 2009 and Dan can't sleep, until he comes to the realization that he is in love with Phil.





	Things I Say When You Sleep

It was an extremely cold December night and snow had been falling all evening, but Dan didn't seem to notice any of it, because Phil had made sure the two of them had at least three extra blankets to share between the two of them, and he had even made Dan put on an extra warm pair of socks before they went to bed. That meant that the heat, or rather the cold, wasn't the reason why Dan couldn't sleep. It wasn't the unfamiliarity of Phil's bed either, because he had come over to Phil's place a few times now and he had never experienced trouble sleeping when Phil was right there next to him, his steady breathing a calming constant that broke the deafening silence, and Dan's disquiet thoughts along with it. Still, Dan wondered why when he had wrapped his legs around Phil and when Phil had linked his fingers with Dan's, only one of them had fallen asleep. Dan felt so comfortable, but his thoughts were running wild tonight, which was usually not a good sign. He couldn't put his finger on what exactly was wrong either, because nothing really seemed to be wrong. He was actually feeling pretty content right now.

Dan let out a deep sigh and opened his eyes again, rubbing them with one of his fists, because he was holding Phil's hand in the other. His tired eyes took a while to adjust to the dimmed light that was coming from the hallway. The blue and green colours of Phil's room looked like dark shades of black and grey at this hour of the night and it made the room look different. Not in an unsettling way, but it definitely felt less familiar. 

The sound of quiet footsteps could be heard from Dan's position in Phil's bed and he couldn't help but hold his breath for a while. All of this was still a bit strange to him, how he ended up spending days, weeks even, with a guy he met on the Internet. He made this house that was hours away from his own house down in the south a home. It was all a bit surreal to Dan. He turned his face and released another deep breath when he looked at Phil. Phil, who looked so peaceful and serene. Phil, who made him feel so comfortable and happy.

The footsteps returned and they neared Phil's door. Dan immediately shut his eyes tightly and pretended to be asleep, but there was no need for that, because they quickly disappeared again. Dan wondered who it was. It was probably Kath. Phil's mother had been so lovely and welcoming from the second she first met Dan and it really surprised him. It made him wonder if Phil's warm family was just a one of a kind exception, or if his own family just didn't meet the standards it was supposed to meet. Either way, she immediately made sure Dan felt included and she was curious and happy to get to know him, so she asked a lot of questions, but she was never intrusive or rude. She also insisted that Dan called her Kath, which he felt a bit uncomfortable with at first, but after a while he realized that he had no reason to be scared of this lovely woman at all. Phil's family just screamed love and comfort and Dan felt a little bit like an outsider sometimes, but he hoped that one day that would change. 

After another fifteen minutes, which felt like fifteen hours, Dan was actually considering waking Phil up. He could definitely use a bit of company right now, a distraction from his weird thoughts that refused to let him rest. When he couldn't sleep when he was at home, he usually watched some YouTube videos, but he felt like it would be too awkward to watch an AmazingPhil video when the real Phil Lester was lying right next to him. Phil had told him that Dan could wake him up any time if he couldn't sleep, he had even reassured him of it multiple times before they got into bed, but now Dan actually kind of needed to do that, he decided against it. Phil would want to know what was wrong and nothing was wrong, so Phil wouldn't know what to do to comfort Dan and that would keep him up for the rest of the night. Usually, Phil knew exactly how to cheer him up when Dan was feeling down. At first, Dan would always cry a little, but Phil would always sit there with glazed over eyes and clenched teeth, refusing to let any tears fall himself, because he was supposed to be the one who cheers Dan up. Sometimes they would talk about it and when Dan didn't feel like talking, they cuddled or played video games. Anything to make the bad thoughts disappear for at least a little while.

These, however, weren't bad thoughts, so Dan didn't want to bother Phil with his mess of a mind tonight. He had been staring at the ceiling for quite a while now, so he once again decided to lie on his side and face Phil. Phil's lips were parted slightly and his skin looked so soft in the dimmed light. Dan raised his left hand, which wasn't holding on to Phil's hand, and softly placed it onto Phil's cheek. The sight of sleepy Phil had always been mesmerizing to him, even when it had only consisted of about 6 pixels when he first started talking to Phil on Skype a few months ago. The real thing, however, from this up-close, was completely breathtaking and astonishing to Dan. He moved his thumb slowly and stroked the soft skin of Phil's cheek, who let out a soft breath.

Dan couldn't help but smile when he was looking at the beautiful man in front of him. He tried to memorize this moment as best as he could, because he knew that in a few days he would be lying wide awake in his own bed again and he would be missing Phil. This would be a comforting thought to him. Phil always seemed to be his go-to happy place, probably because Phil was just always there. Whether it was a good morning text he had sent, a new video he had posted or just his actual physical presence right next to him, Phil was always there in a way that nobody had ever been there for Dan.

Dan bit his lip and closed his eyes for a while. He had finally figured out why he couldn't seem to be getting any rest tonight. It was a realization that finally hit him, even though he had kind of known it all along.

He brushed a part of Phil's fringe out of his face and a small smile automatically appeared on his face. 

"Hey Phil," He whispered and squeezed Phil's hand softly. He was fully aware of the fact that Phil was sound asleep and wouldn't be waking up any time soon, but he decided to say what was on his mind anyway. "I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Nina Nesbitt's song "Things I Say When You Sleep"  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eveISQduTao
> 
>  
> 
> If you liked this, I also wrote a oneshot about the moment Phil realized he's in love with Dan. It's called "Falling Fast" and it's kind of similar to this fic. http://archiveofourown.org/works/11907291


End file.
